Unselfishness: Training the Muscle of Care for Oneself and Others

The Bandung Peace Week (BPW) 2025 session on Thursday (25/9) morning opened my perspective on how important unselfishness is as a foundation for peace and harmony in life. Sometimes feeling selfish is a natural thing because of the demands of a fast-paced and competitive life. However, from this session I learned that unselfishness is not just a moral act, but a strength that must be trained like a muscle, in order to face greater challenges.

The spirit of "inner listening" discussed made me realize that to be able to be unselfish, one must start from listening to the deepest heart's voice. One needs to recognize the wishes and needs of others, and letting go of greed or excessive ego. The example story of Aparna's grandmother who, while in a coma and when conscious, the first thing she did was ask about the condition of others, illustrates the value of sincere and deep unselfishness. This is not an easy thing, but it is a life choice that can be learned and practiced consciously.

"Often the things that make us slip are small things, but if we can learn to realize every time we slip, and learn to apologize of fix it every time it happens, then we are building the 'unselfish muscle.' It is like a muscle that we must continue to train. When that muscle becomes stronger, it will be preparation for facing larger situations where it will be needed. This is a small example in our personal lives, but that unselfish nature is, of course, how it then extends to other communities and helps build togetherness and peace in the world," explained Aparna.

I was also inspired by the idea that unselfishness can start from small things, and if acting selfishly, one does not need to feel like a failure, but just apologize and reflect so one can improve oneself. This provides hope that positive change is always possible.

From this session, I feel challenged to do more reflection and write about my experiences in practicing unselfishness and care. I believe that I can strengthen my self-awareness and build better relationships with family and the surrounding environment. The balance between caring for oneself and others is the key so that we don't get exhausted and can still give the best.

Finally, I realize that communities like Initiatives of Change (IofC) are very important as a place to remind and support each other in this life journey. I want to continue learning and sharing so that unselfishness and care become part of my life.

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Author       : Shafira Rolibah Putri (Volunteer BPW 2025 & Finance Officer Peace Generation Indonesia)
Editor        : Anisa Eka Putri Kusmayani
Translator :  Ari Budi Santosa