Reconciliation with the Self:

Accept, Express, and Live with Our Emotions

On the 4th March, 2019 IofC Indonesia received an invitation from Purposeful People Community to talk about Reconciliation with the Self. Dhuha Hadiyansyah, a counselor at the Sekolah Rekonsiliasi (School of Reconciliation), shared about emotions and how to express them. This workshop was attended by 35 participants. “All emotions must be accepted, and what needs to be managed is how to express your emotions.”

"Emotions are natural, but their expressions are usually learned from and passed on by the family," he said. Children whose feelings are usually suppressed will find it difficult to respect themselves. This difficulty in respecting oneself occurs because of low self-esteem at the level of nature, that is, at the level of being and consciousness, because the ego boundaries have been violated by others; in this case by parents.

"There is a feeling of defeat and submission; both of them are at the conscious and subconscious level. This child in the next stage will find difficulties to make choices. As a result, he will be less responsible because he feels that he is living a life that is not driven by the energy in him.”
 

Dhuha said this child becomes less aware of his inner experience and less responsible for all feelings, hopes, views and wills, including his behavior. In the next stage, he will find it difficult to grow in harmony and live in conditions of peace, pleasure, happiness, love and connected with his world. His life experience was gripped by negative experiences in the past. If this experience settles into adulthood, people have to carry out a process of awareness. In Sekolah Rekonsiliasi, we have some therapies using several methods: meditation, quiet time, writing stories, and writing letters.
 

During his one hour session, Dhuha only spoke at the beginning for ten minutes. The rest, he gave time to the participants to express their opinions or ask questions in writing. Some 28 questions were submitted, but due to time constraints, only five were answered. Ali Zainal Abidin, the initiator of the Purposeful People Community said, “Tonight we are very grateful for Mr. Dhuha’s sharing and to receive valuable lessons.”
 

Reported by Dhuha Hadiyansyah