Every human being lives with labels attached to them, but is a single label enough to fully introduce who they are? Let’s try it with a self-introduction.
Hi… My name is Tri, a Timorese woman from East Nusa Tenggara (NTT) with a keen interest in education issues.
Does this identity alone fully represent who I am? I don’t think so. I am more than just that identity; even beyond my abilities. For a moment, I recall Dumbledore’s words in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
Knowing oneself is a long journey. Exploring each corridor of time to piece together the scattered fragments of life’s puzzle drains energy. It often leads to internal battles where I fail to embrace all the emotions that arise. As a result, avoiding conflict became one of my coping mechanisms.
Self-discovery is a lifelong process. That’s a phrase I’ve often heard, and I agree. Humans are shaped by external labels and live within them. It takes time to uncover oneself by peeling back those labels one by one to find the core of their identity.
2019 marked the beginning of my decision to embark on the journey of finding my core self by joining the School of Reconciliation of Initiatives of Change (IofC) Indonesia. This program is a platform for self-discovery, growth, and development aligned with self-awareness. At the time, I had just completed my bachelor’s degree in theology and was working with a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) in Kupang, NTT.
Through the Reconciliation School, I learned to peel back the layers of my identity, questioning the patterns I exhibited in relationships with others—whether family, friends, or acquaintances. I had the space for reflective input, which helped me purify my motivations for every dream and goal.
Tri shared her life transformation in Kuping Haya
After four years in the program, I recognized myself as a woman with big dreams for the world. These dreams stem from my concern every time I see rural schools with limited human and infrastructure resources. A question often crosses my mind: “How do we nurture the growing population on this land to become humane?”
At that moment, I found a path. I chose a rocky, winding road, taking on a role that many would say is unrelated to my educational background. But for me, isn’t theology much broader than how most people define it?
I smiled, recalling the words of French philosopher René Descartes (1637), who conducted a thought experiment by doubting everything (radical doubt), including the existence of humanity. Descartes concluded, “Cogito, ergo sum,” which means, “I think (or doubt), therefore I am.” I interpreted this simply: my journey to discover my core self is part of doubting my own existence. I realize I am more than any identity or role I usually claim.
In 2022, I confidently chose to focus on becoming an education advocate, particularly for advancing education in NTT. This journey, of course, has not been without its challenges. I still hear remarks like, “Hello, Pastor,” or “When will you return to being a pastor?”—implying that my decision is seen as deviant. I smile at these comments and share stories about Maria in Kupang and many others like her across Indonesia.
(A survey of 168 early childhood education (PAUD) teachers in Kupang Regency in 2021 motivated me to involve fellow education advocates in addressing Maria’s challenges.)
From this survey of 167 PAUD teachers in Kupang Regency in 2021, I found various fundamental issues, ranging from lack of facilities to limited training for capacity development. These findings inspired me to invite friends to organize training and mentoring sessions for PAUD teachers in remote villages. We hope this training becomes a beacon of hope toward better education in NTT.
The School of Reconciliation in IofC has been my place of growth. A space to embrace emotions rather than ignore them, and to celebrate every feeling as part of my being. Just like Riley in Inside Out, who learns that all emotions are valuable, I now understand that every experience, role, and memory is part of what makes me unique. These realizations have freed me from narrow labels or roles, giving room for myself and those around me to grow by embracing every emotion that arises.
In the end, I realize that life is about celebrating all the experiences granted by the Creator. I, Tri, a Timorese woman, am more than just the labels others see. My renewed understanding of myself is a collection of identities, roles, processes, and experiences that liberate me from a single, narrow identity.
Tri Yulianti Nepa Fay
Edtor: Ari Budi
Profreader: Peter Heyes