Making Peace with the Past

Everyone has a unique past which and it differs from person to person. There are valuable lessons to be learned from the past. No matter how hurtful our past was, life experiences are there to help us learn, grow, and improve.  The past will influence and give impacts onto the present. 

Learning from the past will help us understand and reference the previous experiences. It will also help us emotionally grow and make a better decision in the future. John Dewey once said, “We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.” The experiences we had in the past are filled with learnings and meanings for our present and future.  

However, some people sometimes blame their past for the present. They also blame themselves for not being wise selves enough in the past. They sometimes stress  out themselves about the decisions they had made. Instead of blaming ourselves and the past for the present, we should practice to makinge peace with the past. 

Firstly, forgive yourself. It may be challenging to reconcile with yourself and forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes in life and there is always room for improvement. Self-forgiveness requires kindness, acceptance, understanding and responsibility. Forgiving yourself for any mistakes or wrongdoings you may have done will be meaningful for mental health and well-being. Apart from that, it is important to reflect on what you could do to prevent the mistakes happening again. 

Secondly, practice mindfulness. Be aware of where you and what you are doing. Through mindfulness, we can learn from the past, focus on the present and be prepared for the future. Appreciate the moment you are having right now and create space for yourself to be physically and emotionally present. Accordingly, be centered in the here and now. 

Thirdly, listen to others’ stories, share your stories discern which people to and ask for feedback from right persons. This can be a helpful way to understand each other’s perspectives and make improvements. One of the sessions about listening and sharing time is in The Trustbuilding camp conducted by IofC team in Indonesia has a listening and sharing time. During the camp, each participant wais given a safe space to openly share their stories in a family group. This activity will also helps the participants to practice active listening, develop empathy and build trust amongbetween them.

Last but not least, heal and let go. Letting go is sometimes something much easier said than done. Letting go can be a way to deal with pain and focus on the growth. Being stuck in the past will affect our future and not help youus get on with your livesfe. So, keep going on in life, no matter what.

Debasish Mridha, an American physician, philosopher said, “Make peace with your past and make room to welcome your future.” Regardless of what has happened in the past, let’s heal the past, hope for the future and always remember, be gentle with yourself.

Yofrina Octika Gultom