The Power of Inner Listening for Women and Their Circle
All human beings have their own story; the happy one, the sad one and even the painful one. This means we have our own wounds and trauma; our stories are personal and only we can carry them. We all have our own stories and so we need to be able to listen to them in a sincere way. Listening to others’ stories needs skills because an individual who lacks listening skills often turns to judging, giving suggestions without asking, or sharing the stories without consent. Therefore, a safe circle is needed in order to learn how to listen to others’ stories as well as a safe space to tell them.
In February 2026 the Creators of Peace Exchange (CoPEx) programme took place in Bandung between Indonesia and Australia. People came to share their stories and to practice how to listen to others attentively. Others came from Jakarta because of curiosity and intending to take a rest from their daily activities; they came with different ideas about training sessions or circles but in CoPEx they were required to connect with themselves and also with their stories. It was not easy because, before they can listen to others, they need to be able to first listen to themselves.
Inner Listening: A Practice to Connect with our Story and Create Inner Peace
In CoPEx participants were encouraged to learn about inner listening, which is a reflective activity to connect with our inner-voice. In inner listening, there are four-phases which are referred to as "connection, correction, direction, and action." To have those phases, each individual needs a quiet time, to stay still with oneself and to write down what is on one's mind and heart; it might be what we think or what we feel. To pass each phase requires four Initiatives of Change's (IofC) moral values, which are absolute honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. All of these values are required during our quiet time because the values become the filter to connect and process our inner-voice. To connect with our stories we may start by blaming others as much as we can because we believe we are the victim in those stories, but after many quiet times with many filters, we can see the other perspective and we can connect with the truth in our story. This helps us to see that we are not victims, but that we have the ability to create our true story by changing the old story to a new and empowered one.
(Starting the day with a morning session of quiet time, using Inner Listening tools by IofC Indonesia)
(sharing quiet time in pairs, creating space to listen and reflect together)
Alifah, one of the participants and the community manager in a corporation, told us that she found the truth in her story and it led her to be willing to talk to her mother. After she connected to her story and her inner voice, she found she has her part in the story, and she can change it. After she shared her story, she found that the difficult part is to accept the truth and having the courage to take the first step to heal and create her own peace. Resonating with Alifah, Haula, one of participants and the reseacher in CSRC UIN Jakarta, said that it was her first time connecting to her past story.
(Alifah shares her discovery during CoPex, reflecting on her journey and insights)
”For the first time, by hearing stories from various perspectives I self-reflected about the past and processed my feelings,” said Haula
When individuals can connect to their story and process their feelings, it can be easier for them to forgive others. Meir, one of participants and facilitator of Sekolah Rekonsiliasi, said she learned that forgiveness is a conscious act, and we cannot hurry it. Forgiveness also helps individuals to heal the wounds in their story by taking action. Judy, CoPEX facilitator, shared that peace is a journey of compassion, love, forgiveness and commitment. She mentioned the crucial role played by commitment. Without commitment, we may come back to hatred and to stay in the victim state. Commitment is also crucial for an individual to always come back to inner listening to connect with the inner-self and to process the wounds and pain we face in our lives.
Connected Self Against Chaotic World
Through the process of understanding inner peace the participants were led to analyze the effect of the unhealed one to their environment and even to the global context. The chaos within us also has an effect on our family, friends and workplace circles. When individuals bring their pain into their public life, they unconsciously transfer the wounds in their activities. The feeling of having certain needs can make individuals forget that others have their own needs as well and they forget to share, forget to love and forget to show concern, making everything revolve around themselves. Today, our chaotic world contains individual ego-centric dreams instead of peaceful dreams which often come from an unhealed story that was never told or forgotten. Therefore, healing the inner-self can lead to global peace.
(Participants were divided into two groups: one reflecting on what destroys peace, and the other on what creates peace)
Each individual has the power to change the world through small actions. By healing the wounds in our story, it not only changes ourselves but also how we respond to certain situations. Najwa, one of the participants, shared that it is crucial to take inner listening time to reflect on ourselves and this also helps us to realise that others also need time to reflect. It requires a deep connection with inner-self, because without sensitivity, it might be difficult to be concerned about others.
In the Circle of Concern gathering point, participants were encouraged to write down their concerns from the personal to the global. Through this activity, participants get a bigger picture of how their wounds can affect their environment. It is not only an awareness, but an invitation to rethink our wounds, our stories, and how we can create a new story so that we become a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.
Listening Inner-Self, Listening Others as A Quality of Creator of Peace
Wars, conflict, and disorder happen all over the world. Some are caused by weapons, hatred, or by stereotyping others as a reason for the conflict, but each one of us is equipped with the skills to listen to our inner-self; what do we want, what do we feel, how do we want it to be better? By listening to our inner-self, we can examine our needs and responsibly take instead of asking others to do it for us. Therefore, we do not need to take what others have, but instead we can give to others as we heal our pain and fulfill our needs.
When we do not fully understand and accept responsibility for our own story, we cannot fulfill our needs and are always blaming others rather than ourselves. On the other hand, when we heal we can accept our story, fulfill our needs and listen to others better. The recognition of having the power to fulfill our needs comes from listening to ourselves with deep reflection; this is the reason for inner listening. Pipit, a participant and a member of IofC Indonesia’s finance team, shared that besides inner listening, people already have their own ability to create inner peace but we do not utilise it. Inner listening still needs to be prioritized because through inner listening, individuals can recognize if they are already maximising their ability or not.
As the participants exercise more to listen to their inner-self, they move to listening to others. In the Circle of Peace, the participants can listen to others' stories without comparing, judging, or giving suggestions. Zohra, a CoPEX facilitator, said that listening in the Circle of Peace to others' struggles and findings was deeply moving and also inspiring. She said that the sisterhood and close connections between women was beautiful to see and therefore, the Circle of Peace is not only a place for women to gather but a place for women to process their wounded stories, to share their burden and to become responsible for their own story. Empowerment does not mean we need to glorify our victim state, but it is when we can listen to our inner-self and move forward to create a new story. A new story with peace, joy and love.
Writer : Anisa Eka Putri Kusmayani
Proofreader : Peter Heyes