Learning to Discover and Listen to Oneself: A Reflection on the "Peace Circle" by Creators of Peace Indonesia, Yogyakarta, October 29-31, 2025  

From October 29 to 31, 2025, Women Creators of Peace Indonesia organized a deeply meaningful activity for selected women in Yogyakarta: "Peace Circle: Healing & Sharing Stories." The event took place at a very comfortable and serene homestay in Yogyakarta. Following a selection process, seven chosen women had the opportunity to participate in this valuable activity alongside two facilitators and three co-facilitator from Women Creators of Peace Initiatives of Change (IofC) Indonesia.   

This full 3-day, 2-night activity aimed to provide time for oneself, offer space to determine a new direction after living for others for so long, strengthen the path one wishes to take, build genuine connections with oneself and other women who understand the journey, and create an opportunity to share stories, grievances, and laughter in a healing atmosphere.  

We felt that our presence was warmly welcomed and celebrated in this precious moment. This was evident in the personalized welcoming cards made for us, beautifully and uniquely drawn for each participant. Of course, fitting the CoP theme, there were elements of flowers and the color purple, symbolizing healing.  

(Handwritten welcoming cards as a symbol of our gratitude and warm welcome to every participant)

Our first activity was the opening and orientation. All participants and facilitators introduced themselves. We came from different backgrounds, with different stories and tales, yet every story was valuable; no story was more or less important than another. Though we previously did not know one another, we were ultimately woven together in the same frame: Creators of Peace Circle Indonesia, Yogyakarta cluster.  

Next, we entered Session 1: the definition of peace. The goal of this session was that by searching and sharing together, we would gain a new understanding of the peace that can be realized. Peace is not merely the absence of conflict, but rather a commitment to meeting human needs, where everyone is involved in making it happen. Peace is a process, dependent on how we live each moment; it is not just an achievement, but a journey and a way of living.  

We were all asked to define and illustrate the meaning of peace, naturally from our own perspectives and thoughts. There was no right or wrong in expressing our ideas. A variety of images emerged from this session: some depicted peace as a rainbow, where a rainbow appears after a storm; others depicted peace as a house, consisting of various components that must be built and realized together; and some depicted it as a flower because it brings beauty. Peace was also symbolized by a butterfly because it requires a process to materialize, and although full of struggle, it will be beautiful in its own time.  

We opened the second day with a "quiet time" session to learn about inner peace, listening to others, and inner listening.  

Inner peace is necessary to become part of the peacemakers, to play an effective role in bringing healing and change in various situations. On this occasion, participants learned to listen to themselves by reflecting, staying silent for a moment, and then writing down in notes what they felt at that moment and what they desired. We pour whatever feelings we feel into writing.  

We were also given "Quiet Time tools," where each participant picked a provided tool card: Quote cards, Reflective Question cards, and Action cards. According to Riri (One of a volunteer at IofC Indonesia leading a Quiet Time session using their learning tools), the card chooses us. And it turned out to be true; I received three cards that were very relatable to what I was experiencing in life. I got a quote card from Rajmohan Gandhi, which essentially echoed what I have experienced: that I have walked this far, many things have happened, I have witnessed setbacks, but I have also seen progress. The thought of giving up on life's journey never crossed my mind, I will follow my heart to continue living. The quote was reminding me not to give up, to keep fighting by listening to my heart.  

I received a Reflective Question card: “Everyone has wound buttons, which if activated will trigger offense, and how do I understand that those wound buttons are my own responsibility, not others', and learn to identify what things so easily activate my wound buttons?”  

I received an Action card: "Slow Down." The message I got from the universe was to just take it slowly. I admit, all this time I always wanted everything to be done quickly, resolved immediately, so I could rest sooner, but that is not what happened. What happened was that as soon as one matter was finished, another came along, continuing endlessly with no pause, which ultimately made me burn out and exhausted. That is why this message to "slow down" was very precise and hit me right in my soul.   

I need to learn to give myself a pause. I am also a human, not a robot. I can get tired too, and I need to rest for a moment to be able to continue the journey again. My habit of quickly finishing things has been there since childhood. My grandmother always advised, repeating it every time until it seemed programmed in my brain, that I should finish all my work first before I was allowed to relax, play, or watch TV. Similarly, my father always advised me to always be well-prepared. It is actually good, but if it is too strict, I cannot breathe. This message to slow down was very deep for me.  

After that, we shared what we felt with fellow participants in the "listening to others" session. This activity aimed to strengthen awareness about the importance of sincere listening. Listening sincerely and with full awareness can change lives, both for the listener and the one being listened to. Here we learned that all stories, all tales are the same: they are very valuable. Not comparing one's own story with another friend's story. Everything is important and very valuable.  

Next was listening to oneself. This activity aimed to learn to practice reflection in silence and provide time to be still for a moment, contemplating the journey of life so far and opening oneself to new things. From this session, I learned to listen to my heart, listen to the voice within myself, and try not to ignore it. All this time, I have been hard-hearted by not listening to the soft voice from within, which eventually led to an accumulation of soul exhaustion that almost made me numb.   

I feel as if my tears had dried up because of the discomfort caused by wounds and disappointments that were always suppressed, ignored, and considered "fine". I was forced to always use logic to keep taking care of everything outside myself and continue living, even though my inner self was tormented. This session truly opened the eyes of my heart: that I need to listen to myself, and I need to take care of myself too.  

The next session was the Circle of Concern.  

In this session, participants were asked to look at, reflect on, and dig into the worries felt in their respective lives. Because worry is certainly always present in life. Disappointment, wounds experienced, added to the surrounding circumstances, can certainly cause a lack of peace in life. By recognizing these worries, it is hoped that we can overcome these problems from the small scope that we can handle, for example, within the family. The hope is that if the family is peaceful, safe, and prosperous, then a peaceful surrounding environment will be created, extending to a larger scope, even the country. The goal of this activity is to identify problems that become our worries, from the small scope to the larger one.  

What creates peace and destroys peace  

In the next session, we learned about various things that create or destroy peace. We were asked to take two pictures representing what creates peace and what destroys peace according to our respective viewpoints. I took a picture of a family (a mother and two children crossing a bridge) where the mother was walking in front leaving her children behind. I immediately cried looking at that picture because I remembered my mother, who used to have to struggle to work for the sake of us, her children, because relying on income from Father alone was not enough. I cried because that is happening again in my life, where I have to struggle to work, becoming the rib and the backbone at the same time, which is not easy, and truly exhausting. Then, for the picture that creates peace, I chose a photo of an elderly mother holding a bucket of flowers, accompanied by someone I imagined to be her child beside her. That made me feel at peace, where an elderly person should be accompanied, loved, and not left alone.

(Participants sharing in pairs, reflecting on what destroys peace and what creates peace) 

Qualities of Peace Creators  

The next session was recognizing and digging into the potential to become creators of peace. We were asked to identify what strengths we possess and what needs to be improved to become peace creators. Each participant was asked to read out what they had identified. The potential I possess is the ability to listen to others, high empathy, enjoying meeting others, being friendly, and liking to help others. Meanwhile, the things that need to be improved are the need to build inner peace first, the need to listen to myself, understanding myself, understanding my own feelings, patience in undergoing the growth process, perseverance, and emotional regulation.  

The Power of Forgiveness  

Forgiveness is a principled decision to release the justified right to seek revenge; forgiveness also requires the forgiver to realize that the perpetrator is also "a human like me." Forgiveness has the potential to bring resolution and freedom after all the wounds, pain, disappointment, or cruelty that has been experienced.  

Forgiving is releasing all hopes for the past for the sake of a better future. When we forgive, we will be free from the past, so we are ready for the present time in which we live. Each participant was asked to write a letter addressed to the person who caused a wound in our lives, where that wound could be activated at any time. After that, participants were also asked to write a piece responding to the first letter we wrote.  

In this session, I was confused about whom to forgive, because all this time I thought everything people did that hurt me was unintentional. I always made excuses for what people did that hurt me. Teh Nenden mentioned that I was confused about whom to forgive because I had accumulated wounds for too long and too much, suppressing all my feelings of disappointment until I no longer knew what or who was the cause of my wounds.   

On this occasion, I was asked to write a letter to just one person first who made me hurt. And as it turned out, I managed to write it. However, after being asked to read it, I was truly flooded with tears that had been held back all this time, finally spilling out unstoppably. In the reply letter I wrote, I told myself that I have the right to be disappointed with what I have experienced so far, that it is okay to cry, and it is okay not to be okay.  

There are so many things related to peace that can be learned in this precious moment in Jogja over these three days. Thank you very much for the opportunity given by CoP Indonesia. I hope I can spread peace around me and provide a safe space for sharing for the people around me. 

Writer : Anis Nur Widayati

Editor : Ari Budi S

Proofreader : Peter Heyes