Healing Begins with Family Reconciliation

Family Reconciliation in the series of Bandung Peace Week (BPW) 2025 provided a valuable opportunity to reflect back on family relationships as the first place where individuals learn what love, wounds, and healing are. The speakers and participants shared personal experiences showing that reconciliation within family is not an instant thing, but rather a long journey that begins with self-awareness and the courage to make peace with the past. These experiences are certainly felt by everyone and every family, and it is those things that mature the self and respond to the long journey in realizing peace in the family.

True reconciliation begins from within. That statement was conveyed by Alex Leung in sharing his life reflection before all participants. He invited participants to recognize the inner battle between the wounded inner child and the harsh inner parent. The process of making peace with those two sides of the self opens the way for a deeper transformation—that peace in the family does not have to wait for others to change, but can begin when the self chooses to forgive and accept oneself. Alex also emphasized the importance of resilience because family wounds can resurface repeatedly. However, through faithfulness in the process, every individual can learn that family is not about perfection, but about the courage to continue walking together.

Nandor Lim expanded the perspective by saying that family is not the end of the journey, but rather the beginning. Family is the seed of life, and human values are planted within the family. Family becomes the foundation that grows individuals who are capable of bringing change to the community and the wider society. Learning together with family requires trust, and trusting in opportunities that, in the end, will lead the family to become our support system.

Meanwhile, Annisa shared a touching story about her fear of marriage due to her bitter experiences with her parents. However, through the School of Reconciliation, she found that true love does not demand perfection, but teaches acceptance and freedom. Just like Hilmy's experience, the journey of reconciliation teaches that recognizing and accepting one's own feelings is the first step to connecting with others. When one has made peace with past wounds, then the self can find the strength to love more sincerely and completely.

Ren Jou Liu reaffirmed that the journey of learning and growing together with family teaches that true love begins from the courage to understand and forgive one another. When a family learns to grow together, it is not only laughter that returns, but also the true meaning of life. At the end of the session as well, all participants had the opportunity to share in small groups. In that opportunity, all participants more deeply realized that family reconciliation is an important step in building world peace. It is through the family that the self learns about trust, love, and forgiveness.

Through this session, I was further reminded and made aware that forgiving family does not mean forgetting the wounds, but choosing maturely not to let those wounds control life. Reconciliation is a self-decision to rebuild love, not only toward the family, but also toward oneself. Slowly but surely, from there peace will grow, from our respective homes or families.

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Author        : Albert Giovanni Siswanto (Volunteer BPW 2025 & Member of Young Interfaith Peacemaker Community West Java)
Editor         : Anisa Eka Putri Kusmayani
Translator  : Ari Budi Santosa